Friday morning, December 13th. Watching someone spend their fifth year trying to become a professional artist while going deeper into debt, miserable, and showing no improvement. When friends gently suggest maybe this isn't working, they respond: "I just need to have a growth mindset." The growth mindset has become a way to never have to accept reality.

The Growth Mindset Gospel

Here's what everyone agrees on:

Carol Dweck discovered that mindset determines success. People with a "growth mindset" believe abilities can be developed through effort. People with a "fixed mindset" believe talents are innate. Growth mindset leads to persistence, learning, and achievement. Fixed mindset leads to giving up. The solution to almost any problem is: adopt a growth mindset. Work harder. Believe more. Never accept limitations.

The promise: With the right mindset, you can develop any ability. Your potential is unlimited. The only thing holding you back is your beliefs. Change your mindset, change your life.

The reality: Growth mindset ideology has become a way to deny reality, ignore genuine limitations, and keep people grinding at pursuits they should abandon. It's morphed from a useful research finding into a toxic positivity doctrine that pathologizes acceptance and wisdom.

Thesis: Growth mindset culture has taken a legitimate psychological insight and weaponized it against discernment. While mindset matters for skills within your zone of potential development, the growth mindset doctrine insists there are no zones—everything is developable with enough effort and the right attitude. This is false, and worse, it's harmful. It keeps people pursuing the wrong goals for years. It frames natural limitations as moral failures. It treats acceptance as weakness. It makes quitting—often the smartest strategic choice—into a character flaw. The result: people exhaust themselves climbing the wrong mountains while their actual strengths atrophy from neglect. Sometimes you genuinely can't get better at something. Sometimes fixed mindset is correct. Sometimes the growth you need comes from accepting what you're not and doubling down on what you are. The real trap isn't having a fixed mindset about your abilities—it's having a growth mindset about growth mindset itself.

How Growth Mindset Became Toxic

Let's examine what happened when a nuanced research finding became a cultural imperative:

From Research Finding to Moral Imperative

What Carol Dweck actually found:

  • Students who believed intelligence was malleable tried harder after failure
  • This led to better outcomes in academic settings
  • Mindset could be experimentally manipulated
  • The research was primarily about motivation and persistence in learning contexts

What growth mindset culture claims:

  • All abilities are infinitely developable
  • Limitations are just beliefs
  • Failure to improve means you don't believe hard enough
  • Quitting is always wrong
  • Accepting limitations is moral weakness

The transformation: A finding about how beliefs affect effort became a doctrine that effort plus belief can overcome anything.

The problem: The second claim is demonstrably false. Not everything is equally developable. Biology exists. Prior development windows close. Some pursuits genuinely aren't good fits.

The Limitation Denial

Growth mindset culture insists:

  • "There's no such thing as talent, only hard work"
  • "Anyone can learn anything"
  • "Limitations are just limiting beliefs"
  • "If you're not improving, you're not trying hard enough"

What this ignores:

Physical reality: A 5'6" person cannot develop into an NBA center. No amount of growth mindset changes bone structure.

Cognitive variation: Some people cannot learn advanced mathematics, no matter how hard they try. Working memory, processing speed, and spatial reasoning vary.

Developmental windows: Learning perfect pitch is nearly impossible after age 7. Native-level language acquisition gets dramatically harder after puberty. Timing matters.

Genuine mismatch: Some pursuits are bad fits for specific individuals. Not every misfit is a limiting belief to overcome.

The damage: When people fail to develop an ability despite enormous effort, growth mindset culture tells them they didn't believe hard enough. The limitation isn't real—your mindset is the problem.

This is psychologically abusive.

The Quitting Prohibition

Growth mindset culture says: Winners never quit. Quitters never win. Persistence is the ultimate virtue. Giving up means you didn't have the right mindset.

What this misses: Strategic quitting is often the smartest choice.

Examples of good quitting:

Case 1: The aspiring professional musician

  • Spent 10 years practicing 4 hours daily
  • Made minimal progress
  • Quit music, became a music teacher
  • Found fulfillment, financial stability, and genuine impact
  • The 10 years weren't wasted—they informed the teaching
  • But continuing to pursue performance was wrong

Growth mindset culture verdict: Failure. Didn't persist. Limiting belief.

Reality: Smart strategic pivot based on accurate self-assessment.

Case 2: The startup founder

  • Spent 3 years on a startup that wasn't gaining traction
  • Market validation was poor
  • Quit, joined another startup as employee #5
  • Learned more in 6 months than 3 years solo
  • The quitting enabled growth

Growth mindset culture verdict: Gave up too early. Didn't believe enough.

Reality: Efficient learning through recognizing dead ends.

The pattern: Growth mindset culture can't distinguish between:

  • Productive persistence (practicing the right thing effectively)
  • Unproductive grinding (doing the same ineffective thing harder)
  • Smart strategic quitting (recognizing mismatches and pivoting)

Everything becomes "just keep grinding with the right mindset."

The Effort Trap

The belief: Effort is always good. More effort is always better. Not improving? Try harder.

The reality: Effort on the wrong thing is waste. Effort past the point of diminishing returns is waste. Effort without skill is just exhaustion.

What this looks like:

The writer who isn't improving:

  • Writes daily for 5 years
  • Shows manuscripts to readers who say "this isn't working"
  • Instead of changing approach or accepting mismatch, writes more
  • "I just need to persist with a growth mindset"
  • Another 5 years pass with no improvement

Question growth mindset culture won't ask: What if writing isn't your medium? What if you'd be better at video, podcasting, or teaching? What if the effort isn't the problem—the pursuit is?

The entrepreneur who keeps failing:

  • Launches 10 businesses, all fail
  • Each time: "I'm learning, I'm growing, I have a growth mindset"
  • Never pauses to ask: "Am I actually suited to entrepreneurship?"
  • Never considers: "What if I'd be better as an employee, a partner, or in a different role?"

The insight: Effort is only valuable when applied to *developable skills in appropriate domains. Mindless persistence wastes time and energy that could be invested elsewhere.

The Acceptance Pathologization

Growth mindset culture treats acceptance as weakness:

Accepting physical limitations: "Limiting belief" Accepting cognitive variation: "Fixed mindset" Accepting poor fit: "Giving up" Accepting good enough: "Settling"

What this misses: Acceptance is often wisdom.

Acceptance as strategic advantage:

Example 1: You're not naturally charismatic

  • Fixed mindset denial: "I can become charismatic if I try hard enough"
  • Growth mindset grinding: 10 years of painful social practice with minimal improvement
  • Wise acceptance: "I'm not charismatic, but I'm analytical. I'll build a career that leverages my actual strengths."
  • Result: Success in data analysis instead of failure in sales

Example 2: You're not athletically gifted

  • Growth mindset dogma: "Anyone can become an athlete"
  • Reality: Some bodies don't respond well to training
  • Wise acceptance: Casual enjoyable exercise instead of grinding toward competitive goals you'll never reach
  • Result: Sustainable healthy habits instead of injury and burnout

The paradox: Accepting what you're not frees you to develop what you are.

The Economic and Social Functions

Why does growth mindset ideology persist despite its problems?

Growth Mindset as Victim Blaming

The function: If success is just about mindset and effort, then failure is your fault.

What this does for the system:

  • Inequality becomes a mindset problem, not a structural issue
  • "Poor people just need a growth mindset"
  • "If you're not succeeding, you don't believe hard enough"
  • System absolved of responsibility

Example:

  • "College admissions are pure meritocracy, just work hard with a growth mindset"
  • Ignores: Legacy admits, wealth advantages, educational inequality, geographic access
  • Converts: Structural advantages into individual character issues

Who this serves: People who benefit from the current system. If success is just mindset, their advantages aren't really advantages.

The Hustle Culture Engine

Growth mindset is the ideological fuel for hustle culture:

The logic:

  1. You can develop any skill with effort (growth mindset)
  2. Therefore, you should always be developing more skills
  3. Not grinding? That's a fixed mindset, a moral failing
  4. Exhaustion? Just need a better mindset about rest and recovery
  5. Never stop, never accept, never quit

The result: Burnout reframed as insufficient belief.

Who benefits: Employers who get unsustainable effort from employees who blame themselves for burning out.

The Self-Help Industry's Investment

Growth mindset is infinitely monetizable:

The pitch:

  • Buy this course to develop a growth mindset
  • Attend this seminar to learn to believe in your potential
  • Hire this coach to overcome limiting beliefs
  • Purchase this book to unlock your growth
  • Join this program to develop persistence

The beautiful business model: If you don't succeed, you didn't have enough growth mindset. Buy more products.

The customer never escapes: Failure is always insufficient belief, never poor product or impossible goal.

When Growth Mindset Works (And When It Doesn't)

Let me be clear: Growth mindset isn't wrong. Its misapplication is wrong.

Growth mindset is valuable for:

1. Skills Within Your Developable Range

When it works: You have baseline capacity and you're in an appropriate developmental window.

Examples:

  • Learning to code if you have reasonable logical-mathematical ability
  • Improving public speaking if you have baseline social processing
  • Developing writing skills if you have language facility
  • Building physical fitness within your body's response capacity

Why it works: These are genuinely developable with appropriate practice.

What's required: Not just mindset. Also: good instruction, deliberate practice, feedback, time, and baseline capacity.

2. Overcoming Initial Discomfort

When it works: Early stages of skill acquisition, where discomfort is about novelty not impossibility.

Examples:

  • First uncomfortable weeks at the gym
  • Initial awkwardness speaking a new language
  • Early stages of learning an instrument
  • First attempts at public speaking

Why it works: The discomfort is temporary and yields to practice.

The distinction: This is initial learning discomfort, not sustained inability after substantial effort.

3. School-Type Learning in Children

When it works: Academic contexts with children during peak learning windows.

Why it works: This was the actual research context. Young brains in learning environments with scaffolded instruction.

What this doesn't generalize to: Adults. Non-academic domains. Skills outside your aptitude range. Pursuits chosen by you (not curriculum).

4. Overcoming Temporary Setbacks

When it works: You have the skill, you hit temporary obstacles.

Examples:

  • Athlete recovering from injury
  • Writer with temporary block
  • Entrepreneur facing a solvable problem
  • Student struggling with one difficult concept

Why it works: The capacity exists, the setback is circumstantial.

Growth mindset isn't valuable for:

1. Skills Outside Your Developable Range

When it fails: Pursuing abilities that require capacity you don't have.

Examples:

  • Tone-deaf person pursuing perfect pitch
  • Person with dyscalculia pursuing theoretical mathematics
  • Severely uncoordinated person pursuing professional athletics
  • Low openness person pursuing artistic creativity

Why it fails: Biology matters. Cognitive variation is real. Not everything is equally developable.

What happens: Years of grinding with no progress, but you blame your mindset rather than accepting mismatch.

2. Wrong Pursuits

When it fails: The issue isn't skill development, it's a poor fit between person and pursuit.

Example:

  • You could develop sales skills with enough effort
  • But sales doesn't match your values, energy, or interests
  • Growth mindset keeps you grinding
  • You succeed and are miserable
  • Or you fail and blame your mindset
  • Either way, wrong mountain

The question growth mindset doesn't ask: Should you develop this skill, or find a pursuit that uses your actual strengths?

3. Strategic Quitting Decisions

When it fails: When the smart move is pivoting, not persisting.

Examples:

  • Business with poor market validation
  • Career path with structural barriers
  • Relationship that isn't working
  • Project with insurmountable obstacles

Growth mindset says: Just persist with the right attitude.

Strategic thinking says: Cut losses, redirect resources, try different approach.

The Alternative: Strategic Self-Knowledge

What actually works better than blind growth mindset:

Accurate Self-Assessment

The capacity: Know what you're actually good at and where your limitations are.

This means:

  • Testing your aptitudes honestly
  • Gathering feedback from reality (not just belief)
  • Noticing where you improve easily versus where you grind without progress
  • Distinguishing between discomfort and impossibility
  • Accepting variation without judgment

Not:

  • "I can do anything if I believe"
  • "Limitations are just mindset"
  • "Everything is equally developable"

But:

  • "These things come naturally, those things don't"
  • "I improve quickly here, slowly there, not at all there"
  • "This matches my wiring, that fights it"

Strategic Skill Development

The approach: Invest effort where you have aptitude and advantage.

This means:

  • Focus on developing your strengths, not fixing weaknesses
  • Pursue skills you can actually become excellent at
  • Spend marginal effort on weak areas only when necessary
  • Route around limitations when possible

Example:

  • You're analytical but not charismatic
  • Don't: Spend 10 years trying to become a great salesperson
  • Do: Become excellent at data analysis, build systems, hire charismatic people for sales

The wisdom: 10,000 hours on your strengths creates excellence. 10,000 hours on your weaknesses creates mediocrity.

Intelligent Quitting

The skill: Distinguish between:

  • Productive persistence (right pursuit, need more practice)
  • Unproductive grinding (wrong approach to right pursuit)
  • Smart quitting (wrong pursuit entirely)

Questions to ask:

  • Am I improving at a reasonable rate?
  • Is this pursuit actually matched to my strengths?
  • Am I doing this because I want to, or because growth mindset says I should?
  • Would this effort be better invested elsewhere?
  • What's the opportunity cost of continuing?

The practice: Quit fast when evidence suggests poor fit. Persist intelligently when evidence suggests improving match.

Acceptance as Strategy

The reframe: Accepting limitations isn't weakness. It's intelligent resource allocation.

What to accept:

  • You won't be great at everything
  • Some pursuits aren't good matches
  • Biology and variation are real
  • Opportunity cost matters
  • Some mountains aren't worth climbing

What this enables:

  • Deep development of actual strengths
  • Smart investment of limited time and energy
  • Pursuit of well-matched goals
  • Peace with being excellent at some things, mediocre at others

Growth Mindset About Matching, Not Everything

The sophisticated version:

Not: "I can develop any skill with the right mindset"

But: "I can improve my ability to find well-matched pursuits and develop skills within my aptitude range"

This means:

  • Getting better at self-assessment
  • Improving at identifying good-fit opportunities
  • Developing the skill of strategic quitting
  • Learning to recognize your actual strengths
  • Growing your ability to accept reality

The paradox: Having a fixed mindset about some specific abilities frees you to have a growth mindset about the right things.

Takeaways

What to do differently:

Stop:

  • Assuming every skill is equally developable
  • Treating limitations as moral failures
  • Grinding at pursuits that show no improvement
  • Pathologizing acceptance and quitting
  • Blaming mindset when reality is sending clear signals
  • Pursuing skills because you "should" be able to develop them

Start:

  • Assessing your aptitudes honestly
  • Investing in your actual strengths
  • Quitting strategically when evidence suggests poor fit
  • Accepting natural variation without judgment
  • Distinguishing between discomfort and impossibility
  • Choosing pursuits matched to your wiring
  • Treating acceptance as wisdom, not weakness

The controversial bottom line:

Growth mindset culture has become a way to never accept reality. It keeps people grinding at pursuits they should abandon while their actual strengths atrophy from neglect. It converts structural inequality into individual moral failure. It pathologizes the wisdom of knowing what you're not.

The people who succeed most dramatically often aren't the ones with the most growth mindset. They're the ones with the best match between their abilities and their pursuits. They quit fast when the fit is poor. They double down when the fit is good. They accept what they're not so they can become exceptional at what they are.

Sometimes you can't get better at something. Sometimes fixed mindset is correct. Sometimes the growth you need comes from accepting your limitations and leveraging your strengths.

The real question isn't "Can I develop a growth mindset about this?"

It's "Is this worth developing, or should I be developing something else?"

Stop trying to grow everything. Start growing the right things.

Today's Sketch

December 13, 2025